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2004-02-07 00:42:28 (UTC)

in a haze of premenstrual..

in a haze of premenstrual horomones and general need for
renewal i found myself riding up main street in the following outfit:

jeans, calvin klein (old logo) cut just below the knee and covered
in paint

blue and white benneton rugby shirt with logo across chest

grey hood t shirt underneeth

blue and white tweed jacket with cordoroy elbow patches

black suede boots worn scrunched to mid calf


i was riding to home depot to purchase the following:

spraypaint, gold
spray enamel, black (on sale for 1.99)


i have been working on the same canvases since spring 2001. i
made four canvases around that time, three of which featured red
and black self portraits, the same image being reduced through
the blackening of the figure into silouette in each and one pink
painting of a woman glaring at a swan.

i hated them all.

when you hate something you make it's brutal. you feel like a
failure. then you get over it, decide your work is a cop out and
under developed and keep on trucking.

disaster reecovery is the essence of 2D art i'd often argue.

so this august, in frustration, i covered one of the canvases with
wallpaper. i thought it'd look interesting. and at least cover the butt
ugly painting with something pretty. paisley wall paper i found on
big clean up day along with a lamp and coffee table. then i spray
painted flower forms over that.

then i decided it was lame and didn't sit properly and ripped it. from
which i got forms. from which i developed a chance procedural
method of working for the next god knows how many monthes.

since i was too poor to restock my pen collection, painting was the
only means of artistic expression. i had a lot of paint kicking

and for monthes i'd work on these forms. and i'd play with the
procedure for different effects. and somehow to me the paintings
became sentimental, despite feeling unfinished. so it was time to
"risk everything" and just take them into a new direction. i knew
acrylic wouldn't cut it, i'd just get obsessed with the brushstrokes
and textures and stuff. so spraypaint it was. and gold was all i had.
so i preped them up and started. the nozel was an asshole and
after a couple splotches i could get no more from the bottle. but i
liked the results.

so up i ride to get more spraypaint. and then they become these
glowing things. and i bronze them with a semi irredescent acrylic.

and now what?

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