Michellelg27

The Daily Chronicles of Michelle
2004-02-06 20:17:23 (UTC)

I miss Amy!

Sometimes I wonder why people just let people believe that
they hate them? What I mean is when someone leaves your
life they never tell you they still care or they don't hate
you.They never explain anything. How can people just cut
off their feelings it doesn't make sense. I miss someone so
much but they don't miss me. She won't even be my friend.I
feel as if it is the ultimate betrayal.Why?Well I felt like
she was the only person who truly cared and understood
me.She represented so many things to me love, friendship,
acceptence, independence and freedom. I felt stronger with
Amy around. I felt as if I would never be alone. Did she
not know I was afraid of being alone. Why can't I shake
this? Maybe its because she cut me off totally and I
invested so much. I made a mistake of depending on someone
else and trusting someone. Maybe someday she can face me
and tell me the answers to the questions I have.There will
not be closure for me on this until I find those answers
but I will not search for them I hope they come to me. Why
do I have to let someone hurt me everyday by their
rejection? It sucks!! Some people have no compassion.I was
almost over all this then trying to talk to her again
brought it back up. She represented so many things I was
missing in my life and its hard to let go of those symbols.
I am bitter because I feel trapped like a caged butterfly
without wings or something. I live here with my dad but Oct
24, 2003 I was supposed to get my own place. Amy why did
you help me out at all only to take it all away? I am worse
now not better. How does she think that I will have a
better life? She WAS my best friend. Now she is? nothing..
in my life. Aren't friends, friends forever? I guess not. I
should never get too close to anyone EVER again or I will
be screwed over!!!! I am going to make my live about work
and my writings forget friends or lovers, people that I can
get too close to!! I will just have aquaintences. I dont
think AMy realizes how much she betrayed me or maybe she
doesn't care!!!!!!! WELL FUCK HER!!! SHE CAN GO TO HELL.
Shes a heartless bitch who took advantage of my niceness.
Funny I wasn't the one in the wheel chair!!enough of this,
I am just going to forget how people dissapoint me! Yet I
feel so alone. I guess that is just the human condition.




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