Chris

The Best Damn Diary - PERIOD!
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2004-02-06 07:46:04 (UTC)

Today's Topic

Well, since i'm not high, nor can i get high, i have to
come up with something to write in the journal. So, it's
time for me to get emotional now.

I'm sittin in this chair...thinkin about my thoughts for
the day. I've been so confused with my feelings for a few
days now...more so with cheree and brit. I'm sittin here
thinkin about both of them tonight. I do miss cheree, i am
sorry i let her go, cause i thought this time would work.
i admit, I FUCKED UP. I followed my heart....and look
where it got me....single :(

I'm not afraid of commitment...i'm also not afraid to open
up anymore to people, i think the pills are actually
working now, and since i started a journal, i have more
time to relay my thoughts in here, and it gets things off
my chest.

I know there's prob'ly no possibility of me and cheree at
least being friends. I mean, all you have to do is look at
the "soap opera" in my journal to understand that. I've
come to that realization....there's no us anymore, nor
will there ever be a friendship. So, yes, i fucked up big
time...but, like i said...i tried.

I'm hoping that someday brit will see me for who i am, and
everything i've said to her isn't a lie. I'm HOPING that
for once in a lifetime, things will work out. All i have
to do is put faith in god here, as he's done so much for
me, i can't even desribe it. He's brought me closer to
people, he's opened my heart, he's brought me ENDLESS
oppoutunities.

People say things are "fate" or "just meant to be"...it's
all lies. It's GOD'S work, no fate involved...just God. He
knows what's right for you, even though you don't.

People who don't believe in GOD should now take this
oppoutunity to. He's the one that does everything for you.
He helps you through the good, the bad, and the worst of
times.

But yea, no more preaching, even though all that is true.
Please people, help me. I still love cheree, and will for
as long as i can, despite all we've been through. I also
care for brit, but i don't see a future for us. So tell
me, where and what do i do from here?

Chris


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