champagne supernova
2004-02-06 07:13:23 (UTC)

you know

there are so many things and thoughts and just stuff that
is going through my head and i kind of like it, but at the
same time it is very difficult to try to attend to all of
the thoughts and ideas that come to me whether those
thoughts and ideas are good or bad. especilly the boyfriend
thoughts. is it over? is it not? i dont know. i thought the
break would be good, but he dosnt want one, i am so
confussed maybe i just should not think about the opposite
sex for awhile. cause right now i am having nothing but
trouble with them. its very confussing. i just want to get
through this year, graduate, start college, work, be
driving and then worry about boys. and you want to know the
odd thing is that is what my family has always told me to
do and i was always like "yea, whatever" and i would put
bobby first, or someone that didnt need to come first.
cause guess what? that thing is true, that whole "you need
to come first when it comes to your life" thing,,,go
figure. i need to know what i want in life before i can go
scampering around looking for the other outside things to
make me happy.i dont know what i want. do i want bobby and
i to be over for awhile? permanently? not at all? i dont
know andi think thats ok right now to have those thoughts.
im still very young and until i know where im going in my
life and what i truly want, can i add on to that, can i put
other people in my life and be able to say "this is what i
want and this person is it for me" no boy madness
for awhile. what ever happens happens.....just like in my
yoga sessions..... nama stey. the power in me salutes the
power in you..... im gonna salute my own power damn it! and
then ill get to someone elses!!!!!