Kell3013

stripped
2004-02-06 04:11:30 (UTC)

Ex Rules

Here are some things that every ex-boyfriend should know in
relation to their ex-girlfriend:

On behalf of all girls:
1. If you haven't changed, don't even ATTEMPT to reconcile
with us
2. Don't tell us you still love us if you don't, just slows
things down
3. God help you if you use us for ANY form of sex
4. Ex's NEVER make friends unless they were previously
friends before the relationship
5. NEVER go out with our friends, unless we set you all up
6. Don't tell us about other girls, we don't wanna hear
about your new girlfriend or about a girl you think is hot
7. Be nice to our family, we'll most likely still be nice
to yours
8. If we have mutual friends, NEVER use them as a go-
between. You broke my heart (or I broke yours) and that's
no reason to screw up perfectly good friendships
9. If you broke up with us, your friends are still fair
game. If we broke up with you, ours are still not. Sorry,
just the way it is
10. If the relationship was sexual, it's STILL not okay to
blab to your friends about it
11. God help you if you turn your younger siblings against
us
12. If you've given it honest thought, and decide you
really want to get back together: You BETTER have it right
this time. No confusion, vagueness, or "needing time".
13. After experiencing lots of gray, I've come to the
conclusion that it's either BLACK/WHITE, YES/NO, so NO
middle road. You either want us or you don't. If you don't
know the answer, leave us the hell alone
14. Call us drunk, and you'll LOSE your balls, I swear it
15. If you see us at a party or other social gathering,
don't shy off. Politely say hello and act normal for God's
sakes.
16. It's okay to call us if you're not horny, and you
really just want to talk
17. Don't use us as a crying shoulder unless you're willing
to be ours.
18. When you're lonely, don't lead us on to believe you
care just so you'll have someone to hang around with, GET A
LIFE, you pussy!
19. Don't ever be a prick, no matter HOW many cups of
coffee end up in your lap, I'm willing to bet you deserve it
20. Don't call me babe unless I'm the only person you're
calling that
21. Take our drunken come-ons with stride if they occur,
and don't remind us later. We really don't want you, we
were DRUNK
22. Please tell us how you really feel
23. I don't know why this works this way, but most of the
time if you still love us, we still love you too.
24. If a girl truly loves someone, she doesn't stop loving
them she just moves on
25. If you were truly loved, then don't be afraid to come
back because we'll greet you with open arms if you treat us
right
26. If you know we're going to break up, break up with us
BEFORE we buy the damn $300 prom dress. Thanks.
27. Don't come out here late at night expecting sex when
you know we love you with all of our hearts and just want
to be held by you. It's wrong and you're misleading us.
28. If you're an ex that hurts small animals, GO TO HELL
YOU SADISTIC BASTARD
29. If your parents had a hand in our break up, don't come
back until you're a grown MAN. It signifies immaturity, and
that's no good for anyone.
30. If your friends had a hand in the break-up, don't ever
come back, you're a PRODUCT! A tool of society and we don't
want you
31. If you broke up with us because we're not good enough,
don't ever come back because you're shallow and we don't
want that, even if we become "good enough"
32. If we broke up with you because you liked to get too
freaky, cool out before you come back. In most cases our
butts are off limits
33. Your new girlfriend is trash in our eyes (its called
jealousy)
34. If you love us, stop what you're doing and call us
right now. I speak on behalf of all girls when I say: -We
want to know.

i stole that from some girl i know, it was in her profile,
but wow, she speaks the truth!