Nick's Journal
2004-02-06 00:02:45 (UTC)

I bet the road to hell is made of ice

so the god forsaken weather hasn't stopped (by that i mean
ice, i love snow). by god did it ice in the past 3
hours. i didn't have my scrapper so i couldn't get the
shit off of my windshield so i had to go to the local
convienence store. what i mistake. first of all i'd like
to say that i appreciate friction so much now, or
resistance or whatever it is that jason knows and i
don't. nigga i fell on my ass more than a drunk frat guy
dancing on glycerine. first fall was not that painful,
mainly it was the one leg way stretched out to catch
myself and gently fall on the ass. the second was ok, i
fell on the snow cos i stupidly thought that it would be
easier to control. i finally got to food time and bought
my shit, when i was confronted with a horrendous fact as i
looked into the unforgiving night ahead of me, with one
dark ominous ascension rising above me. it was all
uphill. i tried the side walk once but fell face first,
luckily catching myself but scraping my hand and fucking
up my neck. then i tried the hill of snow, which was
completely iced over. haha this is where it got good.
or bad rather.
so i decide to go up this big ass hill tihnking that i can
dig my heels into the snow and move upwards like that,
well that worked for about half the way. then all of a
sudden i lost my footing and i felt that horrible pang of
absolute fear that is accompanied with utter loss of
control over oneself's fate and went careening back. my
ass hit first, followed by my back, followed by my head.
not only that but the fucking groceries fell on me (a good
thing looking back on it) and i slid all the fuck down the
so after crying to myself for a while there thinking that
i'd freeze to death, i saw a beacon of light in this cold
world. FOOTPRINTS! very embedded footprints. i
determinedly (is that a word?) dug my foot toe first into
each and made it 3/4 of the way up when i noticed to my
horror (as i was in the motion of putting my next step
down) that it was just slightly out of reach, so that the
tip of my toe would only reach the heel of the next
footprint. i slid forward and grabbed the ice,
frantically clawing at the ice like a lion for a piece of
meat just out of its hungry reach. my grocery sack was
wet by now and i thought with that sickeningly bitter
feeling in my stomach that i'd lose them. lose them in
the cold, cold winter of 2004, on a hill, they'd never
even have a chance to be ingested. no! fuck no! i'd
drive on. my red puffy hands gribbed a piece of ice that
cut into my cold skin like a shard of ice. i pulled my
austrian ass up....up!!! and did a jig of patheticism
trying to attain a footing and just not go careening
backwards again, oh god just not backwards! i extended my
right foot so far my balls jumped out of my bag and into
the my mouth, realizing that i had unwisely decided to
wash all of my boxers while i'd make this trip. my dick
was like one big frozen popsicle, but fate was going to
suck it this time, not me! finally i fell completely
exhausted (no joke) to the ground at the top of the hill
with the plastic bag heaving up and down on my chest. and
just sat there for a while. then i got up and traversed
the parking lot. that's when it happened. i lost my
footing like whoa.
i knew i had about as much chance of keeping aloof as a
handicapped person has of getting down from the 25th floor
of a burning building. i saw my babies. six of em,
crying out to me from the plastic bag : "nick drink me
before i crash and my beautiful sacred liquid spills all
over the gritty pavement!" so i did what any good ascetic
(why the fuck not?) would do. i grabbed the bag, held it
dear and had my ass bone rammed up through my nostril.
amen mother fucker.