megan

empty

why can't i be okay? why can't someone just snap their
fingers and then i'll be all better? i'm tired of thinking
about it. i'm tired of all of this.

i'm tired of almost being depressed.

maybe i am depressed. i don't know. i feel like i'm
always on this border and i'm teetering on the edge. just
waiting for someone to push me off and send me careening
down onto the rocks below. blah.

my car is finally fixed. i had to get a new alternator and
a new battery. urgh. i was stuck in madison on tuesday
for almost twelve hours.

i have this problem sitting still sometimes. i feel like
i'm just wasting time. and when i sit still i start
thinking and i don't want that.

EMPTY
i am empty
i am a bottomless pit
and i am empty
there's just too much of this

pain
it hurts to smile
hurts to laugh
hurts to cry
pain
what a mess love has left
i'm giving up now
so desolate
pain

i am empty
i am a bottomless pit
and i am empty
there's just too much of this

fear
i'm scared to smile
scared to care
scared to try
fear
what a tangled web love spun
i'm giving up now
my insides undone
fear

i am empty
i am a bottomless pit
and i am empty
there's just too much of this

can't you see what this is doing to me
and why don't you care if you can
can't you stop myself from coming apart
and why won't you dare since you can

are you empty
cause i am a bottomless pit
you must be empty
you caused too much of this shit

i know, you're sitting there reading this poem/song and
you're automatically assuming that it's about brandon.
just remember what happens when you assume, okay?

i can't tell you what i'm thinking
because you'll say it's wrong
right now i need reassurance
and i'm afraid you won't stay long

final thought: i can't find the door but where are the
walls?

final thought: even if i could go to you, would i let
myself trust you...