Sadistmaria

felicity womb
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2004-02-01 05:11:15 (UTC)

Blanket drill

Each day is a little life…every waking and rising is a
little birth, every fresh morning is a little youth, every
going to rest and sleep is a little death.

Sleeping is a very remarkable practice! Every midnight
you crawl to your bed drained out in quest for some rest…
evidently you expect to throw your feet up and have your
body and mind be pampered, but yet somehow, after hours
upon hours of “relaxation” you wake up even more tired
than before…ever get the feeling that someone has been
riding you just like a race horse all night?!?! I wonder
why…of course, could be just the mind's eye of your
subliminal self…hm, but maybe, just maybe you feel this
certain way because it (riding) has actually occurred to
you indeed…
Couldn’t help but ponder about this. In any case,
undeniably its delightful to sleep, its only too mind-
boggling just how easily you can turn into a “madness” by
cutting out this basic, but yet vital activity out of your
life.*-)

All of a sudden the weather decided to back off and give
us all a time-out. Today I woke up to a high of -21C!!!!
Now that’s what I call a break through!!! Ah, feel like
putting on some sun block!

Ah, why does lonesomeness have to be the substitute for
the sun?!? Split seconds after the sun’s tour of duty is
over seclusion and desolation are always there to fit in.
Why does it seem as though the heart is always hungry for
happiness, when can the limit be reached?!?! And why does
the body and mind are constantly attacking each other?!?!
Isn’t there a way for a treaty to be passed between them…
or maybe that’s too much to ask??? Maybe immediate mental
and physical neutrality is never meant to be reached…Why
does is it feel more and more often that the carcass of
mine is getting too diminutive for my essence…Once again
there are so many “whys”…

I’ve lost my identity…but a creed is all I’ve got…

But never have I though that suffering and pleasure can be
met at once…
I feel dieing…but yet satisfied…I feel a rose blooming
inside me...maybe I feel loved? I feel precisely loved
indeed…


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