The Darkness Within

Dancing Nude
2004-01-30 18:37:49 (UTC)

My Ex Fiance wears diapers

So, my ex Fiancee from the third page calls. This is not
uncommon, as we have reamained really good friends despite
our break up, and much to Lee's dismay. You see the ex,
lets call him Solus, was my first, and aside from Lee my
only sexual partner. I suppose that being of a very
jealous nature I can see why Lee would not particularly
like Solus, but the fact remains that I left Solus, and am
with Lee. Not to say that every now and then I can't help
but feel Solus and I reverting back to old ways when in
converstaion on the phone. Don't get me wrong, I love Lee
very much, and would NEVER in a million years even consider
cheating on him, but I cannot lie and say that there is no
attraction to Solus. It only makes sense, after all this
is my first, and the man that I planned on being with for
the rest of my life. We have gone thourgh soooooo much
together, and no one knows either of us quite as well as
the other does. That is why we have remained such good
friends. We are able to talk about anything freely and
know that the other will understand our view completely.
That said, lately Solus has had quite a few issues to deal
with. One being that he had "met" this gorgeous Egyptian
girl online( at least going by the photos she sent, that
said as I pointed out to him it could be anyone, he
wouldn't know), who had fallen madly in love with him.
That said, he hasn't been with anyone since we broke up
three years ago, and is lonely. So when she told him that
she wanted to marry him after only a week or so, he didn't
see how psychiotic that was, all he thought of was that he
wouldn't be lonely anymore. Then he found out that he
would have to convert to the Muslim religion in order to be
with her...a theory he wasn't completely against until he
researched it and realized that it stood against everything
that he loved and believed in ( ie. Freedom of his
children to choose their religious beliefs without fear of
being shunned, and acting- he was a theatre major in
college). He told said girl that he couldn't do it, and
she "apparently" attempted to commit suicide. I say
apparently, because every time that he had thought of
leaving her something horrible would supposidly happen to
her, and he would stay. She tried killing herslef twice,
was raped, and other various horrible things each time he
mentioned the thought of seperating to her. This made it
hard to believe anything she said. I convinced him that is
she had indeed attempted suicide that it was not his fault,
and she obviously had issues much larger than him. So, he
has tried to cut off communication. That said, she keeps
leaving him messages threatening to come to New York and
take him away, even if he is with someone else. Solus
always did find the odd ones. Now he has moved on to a
Philippine women who is a few years older than him that he
met online once again. Yet believe it or not, these are not
the worst of his issues, oh no... now he is having some
sort of issue with lower regions and is forced to wear
depends. An issue that is smashing his self image to hell,
and putting him into a deep depression. His thought being,
how much worse can it get? He's alone, has a psycho
stalker, a new girlfriend who he has never even seen, and
now to top it off he has to wear diapers! Poor guy! The
thing is that he is such a sweet heart, and not deserving
of this. I can honestly say that he is the only purely
good person that I a matter of fact, one of my
fears while we were dating was that I might taint him! He
is always thinking of others first, and does nothing
absolutely nothing out of malice, or in attempt to use
others for his own other words he is the opposite
of me. To top it off, I may have done this to him. You
see, back while we were together he had to have some
surgeory done, and afterwards he had a stint in certain
regions.....lets say that we were young, and didn't really
stop to think about the reprocuaaions of expressing our
feelings for one another during this time, and as a result
the doctor believes that I may have damaged something in
his "member". Oppps! The funny thing is that he calls,
and says first thing, no hello's, " You broke my Pen*!". I
just about died laughing, and said " what? I haven't been
near it in over three years!" Then he explained. I guess I
did. hmmmm.