Marco Jacksonovic

Crazy What You Could've Had
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2004-01-27 20:53:15 (UTC)

Come On Snow. You're Meant To Be Here Now

I've got loads of problems at the moment - things I've
just got to work through really, thanks for asking - but I
kinda want to unload a bit, and as my previous entries
prove, I'm more than willing to do that here.

About 10 days, my paternal grandmother died. If you could
see me now, you'd note I'm all in black - it was the
funeral today, but I couldn't make it up. I sent my
regards and they knew in advance not to expect me (Only
fair, right?). She was 90, and, as my dad put it, had had
a good innings...apparently she didn't feel anything, so
that's something of a blessing - though I don't know quite
how much to believe doctors about that sort of thing, and
how much they say because its easier for the families. I
shan't dwell on it - there's nothing I could have done.
Not even if I was there, and I'm about 5 hours away (No -
the train's are too shitty, it just wouldn't work)

About 4 days ago, my maternal grandmother fell and broke
her arm in three places. I was upset about this - but
considerably relieved to not have to go through it minute-
by-minute. Don't mean to be cruel, but no-one likes being
in hospital...and that would have been one of those
dragging times - they were at my uncle's so somewhere near
Stoke - with all the...all the not knowing, I guess. My
Grandad would have been pretty worried, too, I expect.
He's a hard man, but nothing if not a devoted husband.
I've often wondered what would happen if they stopped
getting along. The truth is, they couldn't really STOP
getting along. They've been married almost 50? Exactly 50?
Something like 50 years - I remember they had their ruby
when I was a kid - and that sort of thing doesn't happen
if you don't get on.

My grandad's developed this great thing if he's losing an
argument of saying "That's a different kettle of fish
entirely, woman" and not speaking for ages. It works.

Back to my paternal grandmother. Not as a tribute, but
I've been trying to think about what I'll miss most about
her. When we were seeing her most frequently, it was every
Thursday - that would have been in her early/mid
70s....but the only thing I can really remember from that
is that she used to make an awesome creamed mushrooms,
something that I can't recreate no matter how hard I try.

In recent times, when I've been flying from university,
she would invite me for a drink in Huddersfield. I learned
an important lesson for life. You can drink whatever you
want in a pub, so long as you CAN drink it. Never get a
pint when a half is enough. I never saw anyone else with a
half of Guinness. So there.

I'm not massively upset - all that public mourning upsets
me - as with Diana and the Queen Mother and that...it
strikes me that people are feeling guilty that they ought
to feel something else, and don't, and think that being
all showy is the way to do it. It isn't. Be honest with
yourself and other people (Not offending them...but to
treat them with respect). Surely? Is that just me?

WILT? Marvin Gaye - What's Going On


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