pinky

The Necronomicon
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Ezoic
2004-01-27 12:45:02 (UTC)

LOL

TO MY DEAR WIFE:


During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365
times.


I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once
every ten days.


The following is a list of why I did not succeed more
often:


54 times the sheets were clean


17 times it was too late


49 times you were too tired


20 times it was too hot


15 times you pretended to be sleep


22 times you had a headache


17 times you were afraid of waking the baby


16 times you said you were too sore


12 times it was the wrong time of the month


19 times you had to get up early


9 times you said weren't in the mood


7 times you were sunburned


6 times you were watching the late show


5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo


3 times you said the neighbors would hear us


9 times you said your mother would hear us


Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not
satisfactory because:


6 times you just laid there


8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling


4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with


7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished


1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move


KEEP READING.......

==========================================================


TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:


I think you have things a little confused. Here are the
reasons you didn't get more than you did:


5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat


36 times you did not come home at all


21 times you didn't cum


33 times you came too soon


19 times you went soft before you got in


38 times you worked too late


10 times you got cramps in your toes


29 times you had to get up early to play golf


2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the
balls


4 times you got it stuck in your zipper


3 times you had a cold and your nose was running


2 times you had a splinter in your finger


20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all
day


6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book


98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball,
etc. on TV


Of the times we did get together:


The reason I laid still was because you missed and were
screwing the sheets.


I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I
said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"


The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was
trying to breathe.


Well there you go buh bye charliexsx


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