fade to grey

rOoM 101
2004-01-27 07:30:08 (UTC)

lost broken confused

lost broken confused/lift my eyes.
how is it posisble to be two people at once. two such
different people. and i dont switch back and forth. i am
simply (or not) both at once. its the people me and the
alone me. is everyone like this? how am i supposed to do
this? cant you help me? i dont understand my own feelings.
i know whats right, but i cant seem to always do it. i
know what i need, and i have it. but things arent easier.
should they be getting easier? its weird to think about my
life so far. you have always been there, and right when
you should be there the most its like you're not. but
thats my fault not yours. but nothing that i do seems to
help me. it feels like you're doing nothing. i know thats
not true but i wish that you would show me. convince me. i
am literally curled up in a ball right now. this is me.
right now- this is me. never was and never will be. what
else can i say. you know me. you're the only one.




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