Hannah Rose Cherry

Hannah's Screwed life(go figure)
2004-01-26 21:56:06 (UTC)

lily

by the way i never wrote about how i killed lily by
accident....my dog, i miss her so much. i feel like maybe
i was possesed and i threw her off the bed, then she had a
seizure and just we had to put her to sleep. i was really
depressed about that for a while. then when i got over
that and mono and all...i found out my cat has cancer
which is just great. if my cat leavs me i'll have no one,
no one. i dont love anymore as much as my cat, it's been
that way for almost my whole life. she's alwyas been here
for me. we got a new dog, and im teaching her so attack
peoiple even tho she's kinda small(20lb cockapoo) she's
viciouse sometimes anmd my parents hate it but they picked
her out. i was to depressed to pick a new dog becuse evory
time i liked one my parents did'nt want it so i gave up
and one day they came home with this dog and i named her
shirly...and she's cool, not as cool as lily tho and no
one will ever compare to Kitty....she's just....dude io'm
not gonna be able to take it when she goes...and u know
what? the vet said the cancer hasnt spread yet and we have
to just watch her and basically wait for her to fucking
get so sick we have to put her down. this fucking sux....i
lvoe my cat so much man. fuck fuck fuck, i dont know why
no one understands....its not some weird obsession but i
mean...god she's like my best friend ive had her my whole
lif. and evory time id sit in my room and cry shed know
something was wrong and shed know to leav me alone or to
come and comfort me. .....i dunno fuck....this is really
getting to me.i feel like im becomeing so distant from
evoryone. and so there putting me on antidepressants now
wether i want them or not.ive been rebelling aagainst them
for so long now but i give up....i cant take this madness
anymore and becca doesent understand man. i wish she
did...i wish someone did becuase ive been so alone with
all of this...keeping so much tio myself all locked up
evory time something was wrong id tell becca...or tell dr.
jesse but...it never did any good. they said they
understood but i know they did'nt. becca....becca just
thinks she understands evorything about the world becuase
she's just soooooo much smarter(sarcastic voice)**rolls
eyes** my goodness sometimes it makes me want to just get
a gun and shoot myself how she thinks she can be so much
more intelligent. it's not cool man. damnit i dunno what
to do with myself anymore. i'm not looseing weight like
i'm trying s fucking hard. ive been swimming so much and
eating less and no eating junk and damnit it's not fair.
why arent i loosing weight???i'm not doing well in school
at all!!! dspite my desprate attempts. whatever.

current music-goo goo dolls:"Iris"