Ad 2:
2004-01-26 19:25:56 (UTC)

this weekend.

i had a long weekend...nothing special on wednesday..movie
with the girls and babysitting. thursday i had teeth
pulled...not fun. everything started friday. ray came
over...i'm not getting into what happened on this though!
then his friend josh came up...i'll get into him later. and
then in the night tim came up. haha i love that child! he
started to teach me master of puppets (i suck ass at
guitar!) haha tims going to be a masouse!!!! best massages
ever! anyways...moving on to saturday. i finally met adam
strong. he has the worst first impression of me! i was on
the phone like telling at ray we were in a such a big
fight! it wasnt cool! the entry before this one..ignore
it...it was all a big mix up. ray wouldnt lie to me about
something like that. now on to saturday night. i went to
the show at primers. i told ray i wanted to move on. so
later that i night i was sitting with him and josh and he
was like kiss josh to see if i get jealous. so then i
pecked josh (who's gourgous! it made me happy) then ray
was like a real kiss so josh made him kiss verity. when me
and josh kissed it was....uh i dunno.. great~ except ray
was not happy he got up and left. when i went after him he
told me he didn;t want to see me and to go back inside and
talk to josh...which i did. ray came back and i was
sitting beside josh, who had his arm around me. for all
the times that ray hurt me, lead me on (unintendedly) and
ruined so many chances with me...now that i found someone
else he wants to go out with me. josh called me as soon as
he got home and while i was on the phone with him ray left
a message for me on my answering machine. he said i love
you on it and didnt even notice. he actually loves me. who
would of thought ray anthony would fall in
love...especially with someone like me. i hurt him and to
see him hurting hurts me. but the thing is...josh is
different. he's so esasy to talk to and...i dunno...i
really like him.i spent the whole day on the phone with
him yesterday.
this next part is for ray. you mean everything to me as a
friend. i love you as a best friend and always will. no
matter what happens between us, and between me and josh and
you and whoever else i want you to knwo that i am here for
you. for life. without you in my life i would not be
complete you friendship is more important then my life. i
want you to always remember that. for now i want to be with
josh. he's changing me (even though he doesnt know it) in
one day he's changed the way i look at life. i'm SO much
more thankful for what he has to say to me. even if things
dont work out between us i'll still be your friend and i
REALLY hope that me being with josh isn't going to effect
your friendship with him. i love you babe...and who knows
about the future.
this part is for people in general. i know i hurt ray and
i'm so sorry for it. it was the last thing i wanted to do
and i didnt intend for things between me and josh to work
out like this. but i do really like him and want to give
him a chance despite what people have to say. i dont
really care about his history nor do i care about the shit
thats going around...some is true, some isnt...just know
that i have no intrest in hearing what you have to say. if
some of you have things to say to me...go ahead...but i
dont think it will make a difference...not now...i'm to
far into this and i dont second guess anything that has
happened so far.