ESPO2kx

ESPO'S LIFE
2004-01-26 10:39:10 (UTC)

January 26, 2004 A Low Key Weekend

Its been a few days since my last entry. i had alot on my
mind as of late but havent taken the time to sit down and
write it down. My work week was ok, got work done for a
change at the DSO but i am getting a bit sick of it and am
really waiting for tests to start rolling around. Aside
from baker being a bitch work is ok. However, i have
started to broaden my search for a job i have looked into
DEA and coast guard for other career oppurunities and think
they would both be worth while if i gave them a shot in the
near future i think DEA would be the best case for me i
really want to get into narcotics and am will in to put the
effort forward to get it done.

Home life is changing, i am moving down to mikeys room what
a pain in the ass this is. I didnt realize i owned that
much shit and found out its gonna be a pain to move it all
down stairs soon. Well its not like im going any where
soon so i have time to make it the way i want to and to
make it work to my flavor.

As for what has been most consistently on my mind is
monica. I think about here all the time, but i have
different thoughts these days. At first i was excited to
see her and always had a wonder if i was ever going to date
her at some point. That has quickly become replaced by if
i am ever going to see her again. There are alot of
questions to be answered there but i feel that things arent
going to work out in the end. Hell its like a curse these
days, any time i spend for that 24 hours around a girl its
like Kryptonite and things always get fucked up my last 3
realtionships have gone that way. Who knows what the hell
is going to happen from here. I am fusterated and confused
still over the whole thing but there is nothing i can do.
I like here and thats that but i dont know if ill ever get
the same in return from her. Im just gonna keep in contact
with her and hope things run well in the mean time.
Although everytime i talk to her since that weekend it
kinda kills me cause i keep wondering what changed in her
head im never gonna know but damn i would like to know,
hell but that would be the life long answer all men would
like to know. It all a wild situation mabey i can make
sense of it some time.

Not alot lies ahead for me this week, I do turn 23 on
sunday but i really couldnt care less and have no idea what
i want to do that weekend. All i know i want to have a
good time i dont know where how ever. But i would like to
be out in a social enviorment ill be damned if im going to
sit at home this year. Other than that i just have another
week of work ahead it routine but its a steady pay check
none the less.

Its 4:45 AM, im still wide awake and probally wont be in
bed for about another hour. My mood is Lackadaisical just
a plain mood nothing in my head nor do i really have
anything to think about. Im just ready for another week
who knows whats gonna happen.




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