brkunsulofglss

would the world stop spinning
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2004-01-23 14:15:56 (UTC)

i hate hospitals

tonight was crazy and some shitty things happened.
it was lories bday so we all went out,first time seeing
aften in about two months...i'm angry FOR her... she cried
and i felt like i couldn't say anything to make it better
for her. i don't feel like aften desurves for bad things to
happen to her,i have no anamosity...i'm over her so that
helps. i wanted to make her not hurt anymore tho and
couldn't do that,i had nothing.
my friend shannon ended up in the hospital tonight and that
hurt my heart...i love her and dont want her to be upset
either..it was the first time i'd set foot in that hospital
since kyle tho and it was very hard to stay in there and
not want to cry my eyes out. for as much time as i'd spent
in that hospial i'd never seen the e.r. tho...it's not to
nice.
i feel very emotionaly drained right now...it's after 9am
and i've not been to bed yet...i havn't slept much in a
while and i'm starting to drink more again,i never did
stop.. i tried but i guess i knew i'd fail. i did cut down
alot for a while.... i'm an alcoholic,none of what i'm
typing right now suprises me.oh well.....


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