Kid A

Poetry, Thoughts and Abstract Lies
2004-01-22 21:47:34 (UTC)

the old testament - the big beard testament, i believe

they will insist on inaudibly reminding me that i am an
outsider in my own surroundings, but there is NOTHING I CAN
DO but pray for a new arrival, in a parcel wrapped up in
angel hair. for a long time now, maybe for my whole life, i
have felt that i am different to a lot of people - possibly
everything/one else around me and i can't say why. i
probably have a secret that i am keeping from myself.
it isn't "angst-nouveau" which everybody seems so
bandwagonjumpingly interested in these days, but it's a
feeling that i am meant to be something else, as opposed to
what i am. i only feel comfortable in front of an
audience... perhaps internal mental sadism/attention
seeking? i only feel good when feeling uncomfortable in
front of many people. i am striving for a definition no
dictionary can give - the definition of my soul.
it seems this site was made for people like me.
in Freudian terms, i have repressed memories and when i
have an experience of anything it brings these repressions
to the surface of my brain like a diver coming up for air
for the third time.
these coffee-shop philosophers and beretcultivators will
ruin the fun for everyone if we don't pull them over and
give them a thinking ticket. who wants to be the fastest
rat in the race? i am the rat travelling anti-clockwise, to
everyone's clockwise. that way you can still see them every
so often, to check on how they are doing.
let's take a break from the norm - scratch that - let's
burn the norm and eat it.
and let's get a bible while we are at it.
but not a qur'an, that would be racist.
later, immortals
Kid A.




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