Wishin' on some long lost star
Ad 2:
2004-01-22 20:36:37 (UTC)

Think about the chance I never had to say, Thank you for giving up your life that day

Hello fellow humanoids...
Today has stunk ever since i woke up. Well, it was way
early anyway... I woke up at like 4:30 because i still had
a lot to do on my science notebook (basically for those who
don't know it's a binder of all the papers and labs and
stuff for this quarter in science) and they have to be
numbered and completed and stuff... Anyway, so i was
working on a cuppla things that i hadn't finished and then
finally left my cozy warm bed to take a shower at like
5:15, and this whole time i felt like i was about to
puke... And so i ate breakfast and almost missed the bus,
but luckily my bus driver likes me, so she picked me up.
But then i got to school and started my day... It was ok up
til like 5th period, which is the period i have lunch which
is when i sit with monique and cassy and cj. And of course,
i wasn't allowed to move so cassy and i chatted and cj
butted in occasionally and lol the kid joseph darling sat
there being weird as usual... and monique was sitting there
angry and brooding and cj and i made some jokes about
something and she got all pissed and then the vice-
principle like lady who seems to also be monique's
psychologist or somethin came over and asked her what was
wrong, and then monique of course had to say "i don't know
ask her" referring to me, so she turned to me and was like
well what's up... and i was like i don't know, i'm fine i'm
not mad. And so the lady made me and monique talk, and made
monique spend 6th period with her so they could "dig into
this a little bit" and tomorrow me and cassy have to miss
5th pd. gym so we can go get a free counseling session
(hah, my parenta are about to pay good money to have that
done i don't need another one!) Ugh, and then ok, so all of
that plus the problems from yesterday... and then i get to
sixth period and turn in the science notebook that i've
been working nonstop, and i pulled a B as my quarter grade
which i didn't understand, yet was thankful for, because i
constantly pull like 77's on the tests, and occasionally do
my homework... But it was cool, anyway, so before i turned
that in, Mr. Cordary decided that he was going to make fun
of me as usual, but today i was just so not in the mood to
take it lightly and play along, and so i was like yea ok
whatever. And i shut up, and he was just like "you always
have to have the last word don't you? Go ahead, say it we
know you're going to" and so like i sit there not saying
anything, not harming anyone, and he just keeps trying to
get me to say something and i feel like i want to go like
punch him because he's being such an idiot... And so then i
was like i'm not doing anything wrong, can we move on? and
he's like oh every one's watching you now! Ooh now she's
got attitude... And then he left me alone and went to
checking other people's notebooks, and i turned to tina
(she and i made up, i talked to her about like leaving each
other alone and we made up again and now i'm really worried
about her) Apparently last night, her parents found out
that she was cutting and now she is not allowed to watch
tv, be online, use the phone, close her door, be home
alone, walk to the bus stop (she has to get driven)... and
i'm so worried... and I'm just like spinning i don't have
any idea where to start with all of this...

"Out of Control"
I've done everything as you said
I followed your rules without question
I thought it would help me see things clearly
But instead of helping me to see
I look around and it's like I'm blinded
I feel like I'm spinning out of control
Try to focus but everything's twisted
And all alone I thought you would be there
So let me know I'm not alone
But in fact that's exactly what I was
Where should I go, what should I do
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know, if I can trust you
Or all of the things you've said to me
And I may never know
The answer to this endless mystery
Where should I go, what should I do
I don't understand what you want from me
It's still a mystery
It's still a mystery
I'm spinning out of control, out of control
I'm spinning out of control, out of control
I'm spinning out of control, out of control
I'm spinning out of control, out of control

Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps
himself under control.
All My Love