heatherrrrrrrr

ching-ching!!!!
2004-01-21 19:58:23 (UTC)

damn myself

god y didnt i put my grades in this thing!!!! i need to
know what to really study for, cuz of the whole failing
thing.. but anyway, back to the nonworrying stage, today
was VERY boring. we didnt do anything, no talking, or
anything, i was so bored that i dazed out half the time but
liz gave me the rest of her cookie, that was good, thats
all im eating today..ill eat her other cookie tomorrow. i
dont eat anymore, i been losing alot of weight and i dont
really mean to, its just happens now, i think its because
of my depression. thats great. i dont really show that side
alot. i try not to. im miserable, i never used to be, i
almost started crying at lunch, my eyes teared up like they
always do but as always, no tears come out. all these
memories i have hurt. im doing it again. *eyes tear up* i
dont really like my life, well i cant say that, cuz i kinda
do to just because its life, i dont know how to explain it,
i just know that im the strongest person i know. if anyone
else was me they woulda killed themself awhile ago. i tried
to cut up my arms a couple weeks ago again but i couldnt bc
of what vin said. we werent together then but i still cared
about what he said. i look up to him alot, hes like a
brother to me, just alot more, that sounds like incest, o
yea babeh. but yea. i wish we lived closer. that would be
so much fun, but anyway.. i need to find my report card
damnit. o yea, i had this dream that i met nick
ladougnousfien, that guy from 98 degrees and jessica
simpson. i dont know y i dreamt about them, that was the
weirdest dream ive ever had, but anyway, he was like all
hitting on me and shit and i was just laughing
hysterically, i dont know why. whata weird dream.. i dont
even like them, thats so fuckin dumb. but yea, i gotta go
to the place for my teeth, so peaceeeeeee




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