2004-01-20 04:24:38 (UTC)

180 degrees

well as u all know from some previous ones... me and my b/f
ryan have been going threw some times recently and yeah i
was ready to leave him but its so hard when i love him so
much but me being young... its just something i want to do
is live my life single for a bit but its not that easy and
today i think i was more ready then ever... until i saw him
and saw what kinda of situtation he was in and how much i
really mean to him and how much he really means to me he
hasnt eaten since i told him.. barely slept and he was
shaking soooo bad i wanted to cry just from seeing him
like that but anyways he breaks some news to me that i
really didnt need to hear... he told me he thinks i might
be pregnant!!! when we were having some make up kinda not
really sex he thinks he let a little out earlier and so hes
so worried and now im really worried if im pregnant my life
is going a total different direction i mean im 18 years old
and i have barely lived to see but anyways we r on good
terms now i guess but im scared to death and i just want to
cry for hours on end.. i mean yeahid be happy about the kid
but not now maybe like 3 or 4 years in the future but now i
mean come on and it just makes it so hard because im just
not what he thinks i am i guess