ShadowDawn

aRegretfulSerenity
2004-01-19 05:21:45 (UTC)

a little more my age

well i havent written much in here recently, and its not
from a lack of material either. it seems to be a
combination of no time and no effort. lke i rarely have
time 2 write in this, and when i do, i just dont feel like
typing, ya kno?
well 2day im gonna write. it just aint gonna be all
poeticy and all, cuz i dont feel like figuring out the rite
words. cuz, u kno, that takes brain power.
SO! onto the subject! well i cant say how happy i am that
david and i are back 2gether! i mean, i swear its the best
thing to happen in recent weeks. and its even beter than
last time, but probly not the aspects that yall are
thinking. ok, last time we were 2gether, it wz awesome. if
u recall the entries from a long time ago, i wz practically
addicted to him. unfortunately, this was a bad thing. i
noticed that i seemed to change personality-wise around
him. i became shy and passive, and i felt the constint need
to be touching him. ok, NOT like that... i mean i needed
physical contact er else i felt horrible and disconnected.
kinda like i was alone if i didnt have his full, undivided
attention. this was bad, seeing as how he didnt have that
same disposition.
but THIS time around, im learning from my mistakes! now i
can balance out my emotions to hold a more variety of
situations. i can now sit on the other side of the room as
him and not feel empty. i can still act all crazy when i am
rite next to him. i just feel more like my normal single
self, only without the 'single' bit. this is, of course, in
no way saying that i feel less for him now than i did last
time. i actually feel MORE for him now. its just that i
dont wallow around, craving to be in his arms every waking
moment of the day... and night. ok well, the "at night"
part still applies, but thats not the point. the point is,
that hunger no longer hinders my actions and concentrations
for the things i need to get done. i can manage my emotions
in a more effecient way. i luv it. i feel a bit more
mature, and a little more like my age.
goddamnit, i luv that boy to death!! and i plan to make
the most of this relationship that i can before its gone.

but oh, how i wish that it wont ever end...


*Until 2marroW*
~maxWood~




Ad: