2004-01-19 03:25:04 (UTC)


dude i dont even know where to start, this week has been
shit...omg, with drivers ed and school and jessica making
me lose all my friends, its horrible. Drivers ed is scary!
like my partner, he may be hot, but he DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO
DRIVE!! he nearly killed us! but its cool, and dustin...oh
god...I dont know how i feel about him, im so confused, im
lost without him and hes made me feel like i am actually
wanted...but, i dunno, there is no but i love him and he
knows everything about be, its kinda awesome to be this
close to someone, i wish i could actually LOVE him, but if
it was ment to be, wed already be together, and maybe its
not supposed to be..i hate watching him with some other
girl, its kills me, but i know im not much better with
bryong annd all but hes never there for me and its liek
were friends and thats all but with me and dustin its like
were married, but not...and people think ive changed him,
but its more like hes changed me, im actually starting to
trust people, and ive never trusted anyone. Hes really
special to meand if anyone knew how i felt things would
change. I think hes my soul mate but hes so different than
me, but were like best friends that say 'i love you' alot..
but ive never said it before and ment it as much as with
dustin. I know when we meet it will be creepy but hes the
love of my life. I know its crazy buti think when we meet
that he'll stop loving me, I cant lose him again. Hes
different than anyone ive ever met, and im actually honest
with him about thing, and i can tell him anything without
him judging or ridiculing what i say. I dont think he knows
how i feel but he wil sooner or later. Hopefully.

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