2004-01-18 21:33:52 (UTC)

sex in the city and my obliterated mind

i just watched that sex in the city episode where Big
leaves for Cali, and at the end, it says "dedicated to our
City of New York, then , now and forever." i cry as i type
that , bawled when it flashed on the screen the first, and
second time. i love this city.

last night my pretend boyfriend C was saying how he hates
this show and now probably thinks im an idiot.

but in this episode, about fate and mistakes and... seasons
changing... she picks a leaf up off the floor, the first
leaf she sees falling... her man is leaving the next day
and without a second thought runs to her friend who is in
labor. true, she looks like an idiot, her off the shoulder
hospital gown... but the show emphasizes friendship, and
the need for it, and emphasizes thought and independence
and how people can be so different. i mean it also
emphasizes accessorizing , but even philosophises that. i
think its a great show.

jeez imemotional

i want to talk to rita. i want everything to be ok.

i feel so goddamn lost and confused and abandoned and lost
and i dont know what the FUCK about anything and the most
stable thing i have, including my INSANE family, is this
overemotional oversensitive boy who ive met 3 times and
lives on the other side of the goddamn ocean. what the FUCK?

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