Sleep all Day

So I was thinking....
2004-01-18 05:08:37 (UTC)

Ahh I hate dreaming

I keep having dreams where guys who I like come and
actually do what i want. They are actually there to help
and support me. Most of the dreams just end in them holding
me. Im such a sucker for hugs what can i say. I hate them
though cause I wake up with this feeling of loss. The
dreams I have are so real... and I so want them to be real.
They are what I wish so bad that I had.
I got an email from gabe today though. I was very excited.
He says he misses me and that he will call me soon. Some
days I wonder if he really misses me? Or if he just writes
that cause I email him all the time. I wonder if he can
sense how badly I need someone in my life to actually
care..and when i say someone I mean a guy. I have a great
family who all care about me.. but Thats not what i want
right now. I don't know why but I always have felt the need
or the want for a guy to just care about me. And im picky
when I say this too because its never just any guy. Its
those special ones I pick out. The ones I like and admire.
Or the ones im just attracted to. I hoping that gabe will
help me. I mean... he and I have this wierd relationship. I
knew from the minute I met him that he was special. I just
hope its not all in my head. I just hope im not tricking
myself again.




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