The twisted thoughts of me
2004-01-16 21:36:05 (UTC)

Boys....Cant live with them....cant live without them.......

Hmmmmmm......i was really hyper..well i am really hyper. I
have been thinking alot , i didnt really want any1 to know.
but i dont care anymore. im honestly in love.I love this
boy so much it hurts. Its all i think about, its all I
dream about. I cant stand it anymore,i have been depressed
for quite a long time about.Im not anymore though, just
becuz no good comes from being depressed. I know I have
made the biggest mistake of my life and i wish i never
ended it. If u know me at know what im talking
about. owell i give up. I guess there is nothing i can do
but hope...and wish.I am running out of faith. I cant live
with my self anymore...i broke it off ..not becuz he didnt
call me back....but becuz i knew i loved him...and i was
scared of love.....oly becuz the time i loved some1 this
much....he broke my heart. I was so scared this boy would
do the same. Now he is with one of my best friends. I guess
its my fualt....and i cant go back. but i so wish i could.
i would do anything for him...and anything to get him back.
Im scared to let him know...that for one, it would mess up
are friendship. and 2, make my friend mad at me. (i would
never hurt her like that.)
I will not cry anymore. at least i will try not too.
I will never make the same mistake again...i swear to
myself and to god i will never do that again. I wil never
fear love again. I know it was real true love...and it
still is. like i said i would do anything and i still will.
but 4 now it is my secret. I will hold in my heart all my
memories...becuz it is the memories that have helped me
live this far. The memories are all i have now,and i will
never let go.I know that no matter what i will always love
him...once u love u never 4get.
the hardest thing for me is to watch the one i
love,love some1 else....
I will never let go!!!