2004-01-15 16:49:10 (UTC)

A little about my past

This is a poem i wrote. i wrote it yesterday. well it is
more of a revised version of a diffrent poem i wrote my
Junior year of High School when a whole bunch of stuff was
going on in my life. which will be explained later on in


Lonely, so very lonely
No one wants me
Lost in the darkness
Sin surrounds
Trying to follow your light
Trying with all my might to get closer, closer to you
Starting to get away
Darkness grabs me, takes hold of me
And wont let go
But then you draw closer
You came to save once again,
Darkness tries to take hold
But then you came to rescue us
As soon as we leave your side it happened again
The darkness surrounds
Lost again.

by Frank Silva

ok where to start. well when i was writing this poem the
first time. i was really depressed. and a whole bunch of
stuff hit me all at the same time. like my parrents are
devorced. and the thought of not haveing a father be there
for me finaly hit me then(they devorced when i was 13). I
long to have a father that i could talk to. but i did not.
in reality i truly never had a father at all in my life.
because he was a truck driver and he was gone all the
time.and when he was here all he did was sit around
watching tv. also at the time i had friends but they were
not people who i could talk to and tell things to. so i
was feeling very lonely(i still sorta do). and in this
time i had virtuly no emotion. i could not feel sadness or
happyness. i was just there. (that is all on that for now).

i am still working my way out of that hole. cause it was a
deep one. and i have had the realization that i do not
need my earthly father because i had a heavenly one that
watches over me and take care of me. just knowing that
made me feel 10 times better.

This poem is also about strugle with God and sin. we all
start out in sin. so that is how the poem starts. you are
lost and dont know anything. and sin will come in and
transform you. but when a person comes to the relization
that Jesus is there and he will save you,but you have to
ask him to come save you from the sin. but then we leave
him is when we get in to trouble. even though people may
think that it is him that is leaving us. when it is the
other way around. once you leave him the sin will start to
consume you again and satin will temp you again. that is
when we get lost again. so in a way it is a cycle. even
though it should not be. it is a cycle when we leave
Jesus's side. once we leave we dig our self in to a hole
again. and then we ask for help and Jesus helps us out.
and if you leave Jesus again then the cycle will start
over again. so to stop the cycle you have to stay by God's
side(stay in the word and in communication with God). then
you will be safe. that is what i am trying to get accross
with this peom.

there will be more about my past in the next entery. cause
to know me you must know a little bit about my past. so
that is what the next entery will be about. till next