The crazy world of me
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2004-01-15 07:11:41 (UTC)

Hey! So it is pretty much..

Hey! So it is pretty much the same old shit with Ricky.
I get really tired of it a lot but I don't know if I could
be without him. I love him so much but it seems like all
we ever do is fight. Then there are sometimes that I
question my love for him. If I really loved him should I
be questioning that? I don't know. We talked about the
whole him going to his ex-girlfriends house thing. I still
am for not over that but anyway. We got in another fight
tonight. It doesn't seem like a day goes by that we don't
fight. That can't be healthy. So my goal for tomoorow is
to try my hardest no matter what I am thinking to now get
in an arguement with him. I would love for this
relationship to work out but sometimes it just seems to be
So I always say that there is no way that I can ever have
feelings for my friend Aaron but I really don't think that
is the case. I don't know if it is just that I miss him
being here as a friend or what but sometimes I think about
him a lot. I miss him so much. I was reading some letters
from him and I got upset and Ricky being here didn't seem
to help. So maybe I do have feelings for him. I don't know
it just all to weird to me. Most of the stuff I am
thinking at the moment I don't think is coming out very
well. It never does though.
So since the whole Aaron kissing me incident he hasn't
been like calling me or writing me. It is really weird. I
don't know if he feels weird talking to me now or what. I
just know that I don't want to loose him as a friend over
something like that. He tells me he loves me so much but
he won't contact me. If I had a way of contacting him I
would but I don't. He calls our friend Shannon all the
time. He use to like her too. I swear he still does but
he won't admit it. So I guess it all makes since to me why
Aaron never really liked Ricky. Aaron is not really my
type though. He is a dork. Ricky is too but it's
diffrent. Well, I am going to go. Bye!!!!