Bean23

*~*Random Craziness*~*
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2004-01-15 06:01:01 (UTC)

Barbie.....

So I was reading through other ppl's entries, and it gave
me some insights to write more.. so it's only been about 10
minutes since the last entry, I'm on fire tonight, my brain
is in overdrive again, must be fully functioning, unlike a
BABY! hehe (no offence babys)

Anyways, a lot of people have been writing things that are
seeming so negative, there's such a low cloud on these
entries and I'm feeling smothered.
My hair colour is making me feel smothered, can that
happen? I guess go cus it is. I was blonde forever, then in
september I decided to go dark brown, it was nice for a
change, but I'm beginning to not feel like ME, I feel like
I'm hiding under the brown, so I'm going to slowly go back
to blonde.. but slowly or my hair will fall out :)
I was looking on this website of bars in my city, and I
noticed a girl I went to grade school with in one of the
pictures, she is so not as pretty as she thinks she is, you
know those people with the attitude that they are so great
looking?? and they're not!
I'm opposite, I know I'm good looking, but I dont' feel
like it you know, so I dont' have that confident attitude
that I should have that good looking people have. Then I
realized, I've always been me, myself, I haven't done
anything to change myself to make people like me more, or
look at me more, and I'm proud of that. Too many people are
so fake it's disgusting, But I want to try and be a little
more noticeable, but for ME not for anyone else. I've never
been that superficial barbie, (except prom when I bleached
out my super long hair and fake tanned the whoel two weeks
for prom, wore a bright pink dress, clear shoes and a fake
lily in my hair) but I felt so great! I felt so "hot" as
they say. I would like to feel like that more often.
Perhaps I'm use my tanning lotion and get a bigger
attitude. But not a bitch, that could never happen. That's
definately not me!
Except it's kinda coming out a bit, like when I went
downtown for Halloween, I drank quit a bit, but not too
much, on the other hand lindsay.. drank too much and I had
to walk up and down the street searching for a cab while
trying to look after lindsay, we were in a phone booth
calling a cab and this crazy creepy old dude actually tried
to get into the booth with us.. and he was just standing
there, and i was like "um get the hell out of here!! you're
not wanted! go away!" That was TOUGH KATIE I called myself
haha.. another time tough katie came out was when a friend
of Lindsays (a guy) told me that I would look better with
my hair tucked behind my ears. I was like "well buddy, I
don't give a SHIT what you think!" WHoa.. made me feel
good haha!
More tomorrow.. too much now.. gotta facilitate! TEEHEE
*night


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