2004-01-14 19:42:34 (UTC)


i think its time, i really need to start going to the gym.
I think, i really need to know how to start really eating
right. I try, but i dont. what was it that made me lose
weight in italy? I walked alot, everywhere. I ate smaller
portions. I drank wine, not beer. I was happy. when i am
happy, i am lighter.

these days i just want to shed my skin an scoop out the
fat, i grab it, its everywhere, and its making me hate
myself. the week with marco, i felt beautiful, but it wasnt
enough. i need to do this to make myself feel better . its
just being healthy. i need confidence.

ive had one and a half ciggs in five days and i think i
should quit. or else limit myself to one while im out with
friends. or something.

i can cry. thinking about how unattractive i am.

im getting my period soon maybe thats it.

thinking about iris's mans friends, and did they really
ignore me, or was it just in my head?

i dont think i would want to know what random guys thought
about me , i think it would kill me.

how old do i sound?

do i sound like a college educated woman?

i hate this about women.