Nick's Journal
2004-01-14 18:19:52 (UTC)

I can't be all that bad, I mean, I enjoy watching people win on t.v.

today i thought i was the worst person in the world. i
stooped so low as to whore myself out to american express
for a job (i know that's just fucking low). the worst
part was that they blatantly LIED to me, to get me to
attend their "seminar"...ok, first off, if you are ever
asked to attend a seminar for a job....don't, it's
bullshit. anyways, i was listening to this dollyed up
bitch talk about the "opportunities", also known as ways
they can exploit you and spit you out. as i listened i
started to feel bad, i mean am i to become one of these
financial whores who calls people up and pushes a product
at unsuspecting people? i really don't want that.
anyhow, this bitch was annoying me so much, she actually
said, "if you work for us you won't have to worry about
living on welfare"........what? i mean i hate welfare and
all that shit that arch-conservatists rant about, but that
was just dumb.
i just wanted to ask her if american express depreciated
the builiding that they used, and if they wrote of their
company cars under bush's new allowance for tax
deductibility. that's welfare for the rich, so shut up!
jesus christ, they are so dumb they probably don't even
see it. i'm so sick of these fucks.
anyhow, i was driving home and feeling shitty as i
realized that i had subjugated myself to them. nicely
enough though i left half way into it, haha, i raised my
hand and asked, "can i leave?" cos i didn't know how to
put it, and she gave me the most perplexed look and
said, "uh....i guess...ok". she really didn't know what
to say. i guess i should have said, "may i be excused".
but she didn't seem enough of a lady to say that.
anyhow, i got home just in time to see some price is
right. and boy was i cheering for the black navy officer
to get that yacht! and i was really happy when the 90
something lady got a fully furnished living room (like she
really wanted that shit). then i was really psyched when
the patterson family won family feud! hell yeah!!!
so then i realized maybe i'm not that bad a person after
all, i mean i take joy in other people's joy.
i'll take joy in not taking a job with these phony
financial fucks either. it really is a dagger to my heart
when i realize that the sleaze-fucks in my classes are the
best-suited for the jobs offered in my field. those whose
eyes glaze over when any mention of personality is pleaded
of them. those who will dope any dope into buying
some "plan" and cheating them of their financial
stability. it disgusts me when my interviewer has the
guts to tell me, "now we're not looking to hire the
smartest person, because those people tend to over-analyze
and not bring in the most customers". that's what i put
up with in interviews, do they know how disgusting
demoralizing that shit is? i'm sorry i still cling on to
my post-adolescent idealistic phase, and i can't give it
up for some washed-up overfed executive in some cheap
suit, who loves nothing more than to laud his own
achievements. what unnerves me the msot is how these "top
officials" constantly interject their accomplishments
with, "i really DO make a difference in people's lives, i
HELP them.....i doooooooooooooo!!!!!". if you truly
believe it then don't trumpet it in such a pathetically
self-appeasing manner. it may work for those that don't
care anyhow, those that started like you, their eyes just
glaze over, maybe they don't like a keen look the longer
they talk. why are these interviews so long? is it
because they want to see how long it takes for your eyes
to glaze over and just accept?
i guess i'm just bitter. but atleast i can still smile
when somebody wins a new dodge durango and enjoy reading
alice in wonderland during the commercials. not gonna
give that up to you american express, fuck you.