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2004-01-13 21:43:33 (UTC)

advice: the wise dont need it and the fools wont follow it.

well the first day of school wasnt so bad. i woke up at 7,
and i planned to leave at 10 til 7, then i went to the
wrong building hahaha and i was late for my first class,
but i was proud of myself for it actually, because i used
to never ever ever walk into a class late because everyone
looks at you and i got too anxious and would skip it rather
than walk in late, but i did it.

claudia's friend alexis was in my abnormal psych class and
i felt bad cus she walked up talking to me after and i had
no idea who the fuck she was whatsoever for like 10 minutes
of her talking on and on, shes all i thought you moved away
and im thinking how the fuck... but luckily no one else i
know in any of my classes so far, i havent gone to stat
yet. no one particularly hot or interesting either though.

i like all of my teachers, all men, and i picked them all
for some reason, english likes purple and has a bad mouth,
psych has 5 degrees and used to run a practice for a long
time, and of course humanities, scolaro... i got to talk to
him before class, we were outside waiting for the last
class and hes like "hey! what are you doing??" and i was
like taking your other class and hes like come talk to me
so we went out and smoked and talked about my job and
stuf. i know its creepy and gross but im so attracted to
him lol.

anyway, i love being in school, i would go all day every
day if i could. except when i come home, i want to go to
sleep, which i did today and that makes me feel bad like a
wasted day.. plus the dreams werent good, again with diana
i was talking to her though but she wasnt the same girl,
still unattractive and gross but not the same at all. and
there was a part on the beach without her just me and
caroline and it was night and it was so scary she was
burying me in the sand and the lightning was going and
waves kept coming up so hard they threw me in the air and
she kept saying trust me, and then a wave came so loud and
hard it was all i could hear and then i was under and way
out and thats when i woke up.

its only because i fell asleep thinking of all the things
id say if i could. believe it or not, i dont say
everything i want to. i may be open and shameless and say
a lot of things that may be out of line or whatever, but i
keep a lot to myself, too. and i wanted to call her so
many times today alreaedy and it was driving me nuts, so i
sort of pretended like i did call her and said all these
things and then i fell asleep.

i cant help thinking i said something i shouldnt have the
other night, because on our smoke break, matt said like "so
you got pretty mad when sebastien brought up carolines
roommate the other night" and i was like yeah i dont like
her, she needs to get out of there, and he was like but she
resigned her lease, didnt she? and i was like well, not
yet, and he was like "but she will." just like that, it
was weird and it bothered me the way he said it. yes,
asshole, i know she will. i know she shouldnt and i know
she will. i know if she doesnt, it would be hard now, but
she wouldnt regret it, and i know if she does, it will be
easy now and she will regret it. fuck you. his tone was
like matthew's when he says something about fat-ass, and he
knows its guna get to me but i wont admit it and it really
bothered me.