Ad 0:
2004-01-13 03:47:00 (UTC)


i dont think i ever have been so freakin frusterated with
my life as i am now. nothing nothing nothing nothing is
going right! i feel like a pile of shit, physically and
emotionally. Im extremely dissapointed in myself for
several reasons and i do not wish to discuss them, its
along the lines w/ me being pissed at myself and upset
w/.... somethings im not going to say. everyone seems to
be dissapointed in me too, my family, and my friends. well
fuck, im sorry i cant please you, its hard to f'ing
please myself. im sorry i cant do anything right, im sorry
i cant make the right desicions, im sorry i cant be
perfect, im sorry im a failure. god i hate thinking
about everything because i get so sick to my stomach
because im not satisfied with anything right now. for a
point i stopped trying to make other people happy and
giving them what they want and i tried to focus on doing
that for myself but i had to stop because i didn't know how
to. i seriously think i need help but im scared to admit
that, and its not that i need help i just need someone to
talk to, but its hard when i cant talk to other
people, not even my friends but im sick of keeping
everything bottled up inside me and just flipping out on
random occasions. because when it does happen im so
sick of people saying "god kelly, stop being a
bitch" well guess what, i dont care anymore, about
anything... i give up