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2004-01-08 01:23:22 (UTC)


Friends are not worth the trouble they cause. Ok, maybe I'm
exagerating slightly. But anyways, recently I visited a
friend that I've had for a while. She is totally chill and
gets me. We never really majorly fight and until now. And I
don't even know if its really I fight. We're just not on
the same page I guess. So anyways I go over for a few days
and it completely sucked. She had to do stuff for school
everyday and I had the happy task of watch every day for
like 2 and half hours. Then when we'd be at home she'd be
on the phone with her friends. I know this can't be how you
treat your "best friend." The best part is the whenever we
did talk she told me all about herself and all about her
problems. Thats it nothing, not on word did we talk about
me. So then I meet her boyfriend. Yeah, it turns out it I
guy I had a fling with years ago. I hadn't thought about
him in ages and we left off on seriously bad terms, but
this time he was chill. Everything went great when we talk.
To great. So now I'm hang out with my best girl since
kidhood, watch her and her boyfriend mack while, I'm
sitting there crushing on him. To top it off , that night I
had a super detailed fantasy about him. And I didn't really
stop myself from having that fantasy because I wanted too.
Now I'm the bad friend right. But I never acted on it or
even tried to get him. I even put in a good word for my
girl. So I don't know the whole time I was over just wasn't
what I thought. But maybe I actually expected to get some
action, because its been almost 2 months since I've gotten
any kind of attention that I wanted. I don't know. There is
just to much drama. Or maybe I make the drama.

Life sucks. I can't wait to graduate and move the heck out
of here. When I do, I know I will never look back.

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