James

Comprehension of life itself.
2004-01-07 20:24:54 (UTC)

same shit..different day

Well, It's been a while...I suppose i started this damn
thing-i should see it through. Well, life has pretty much
been the same. Im thinking that my neverending quest to be
in a relationship is coming to a close. Im tired of failed
attempts. So, i guess ill just remain single for ..like
forever. It's like 3:20..just got outta school not to long
ago...I'm bored and wishing i had something to do. Ive
blocked out alot of things and im seriously trying to
forget them now. Im not gonna hold onto anything thats
gonna hurt me some day-hence the reason im giving up on
relationships.

Today was rather blah..ive been so tired. Ive been
thinking alot too. Im beginning to think that ive gone
fully gay with out knowing. I find myself to not really be
attracted to girls anymore. Like, of course i think some
are pretty or hott or sexy or what not, but i cant find my
self "aroused" by any. Im not scared of it or anything..i
just would've liked to be clued in as to what was
happening. I guess my brother was right though..im
not "bi" im gay...simply put.

During lunch today someone seriously pissed me off! OMG, i
was standing in the lunch line to get some food when my
brother's girlfreind walks up to me and starts a
conversation. During the lil talk i realized that this
girl called me a faggot and when my brother's gf stood up
for me Stacey ((the girl)) said "well, i dont care if he's
bi or gay...cuz either way he's a faggot and all that nasty
shit is just bleh." if she wouldve said that shit to my
face i swear there wouldve been a fight. I would have
knocked that fat bitch on her ass...now i realize why
Amanda doesnt like her or her stupid ass sister.

But besides the usual- its been a rather bland and normal
day. so i guess i have nothing else to really write
about.
~james~




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