Mark Gittner

Gay Guy juggles his life struggles.
2004-01-07 18:21:34 (UTC)

First of the new year

. I'm almost depressed to the point of needing medications
again, and I am struggling very hard to not be this way.

I feel an intense lonliness nowadays. The holidays really
hit me hard in the fact that I have very little family
support. My own Mother forgot to call me x-mas day ( she
visited the day after), and I spent x-mas all alone at
home, my roomies having gone to thier prospective families.

I'm still single, which while not a surprise, is still
unwelcome. I miss having someone around to care for, and
get affection from. While my friends are nice, I have no
true best friends out here. You are all so far away. My
last good friend just moved away to the Air Force that I
had here, and the other one is leaving in a couple weeks.

I do not go out anymore, which sucks. I have no cable yet,
or a computer at home. YET I STILL CAN BARELY MAKE THE
BILLS WORK!!!! WHY??? I swear I'm cursed.

It's now been well over a year since my last date, and sex
too of course. Meanwhile I am SURROUNDED by couples. Making
out on my couch no less! (ugh... straight people have no
shame!) j/k

My new years went ok. Had a nice party at my place, got
fucked up, went to bed alone.

sigh- geuss thats it for now....

Love y'all