ESPO2kx

ESPO'S LIFE
2004-01-06 10:10:11 (UTC)

January 6, 2004 Another Day

Today was a long day, lots to do and alot going on im my
life. This morning i had to deal with the parents who were
pist cause i was still up at 6 am. Eh so what else is new
i run on a different clock so what can i do, i just delt
with it and went to bed. Considering yesterday sucked
cause i had to work late night, thanks to pierce eh what
can i do he is the way he is. But as for that my week has
been routine so far with work and all.

As far as work goes i went to bloomingdale the other day
for orientation FUCK THAT there is no way ill be happy
there it is just not my flavor of what i want in life.

well back to today work was routine its a monday so stress
level was in high gear but it was normal to everone and
busy as hell as usual. Its a job none the less and i would
love to move on as soon as i can.

My bright spot was talking today with Monica again. Once
agian she puts the smile on my face when i talk to her. Im
kinda upset i cant work my time better and go see her but i
want to real bad. She just has something about her that is
so attractive i dont know what but the girl just has it. I
just hope i can go see her and things work out i really
like this girl and can actually see my self dating her in
the future. i just need to know if it is for real and
that things can work out, but none the less she would be a
awsome friend to have. She just seems alot different than
other girls to me. I want to know so much more about her
but i just cant find the right questions to ask her
hopefully when i see her agian the wheels can get turning
and mabey something will spark. But its cool how i can
call her and just talk although i am kinda nervious on the
other end i find myself repeating my self on many occasions
but i think its just butterflies in my stomach and not
wanting to say any thing wrong. I dunno i think about her
in different ways than i did with other girl friends i
guess i grew out of the phase of looking for the physical
relationship. I want something real that i can acually
show some affection and get some thing in return. Who
knows ill find out in due time hopefully.

I did some thinking to day and just have my mind racing
alot as of late, i dont know why i think im just thinking
to much about the real world and not wanting to fail any
more. I am so scared to now its not like i can get a
remach if i fail i lose and i have to live with it at this
point. I think i am putting to much pressure on my self
but i think i can let things work out in the end if i just
keep going at it. I just cant dwell on it to much.

well alot changes this week also mikey is beginning to move
out its going to be different haveing him gone but things
will be good for all of us in the end i just hope my
parents adjust to the change ok. im sure well all be fine
in the end but i am really excied about what lies ahead in
the next couple of months.

In closing things are still going and the world keeps
turning im just here to live another day as it comes to
me. But its 4:07 am and im in a thinking mood and just got
alot running through my head. But its the weekend end for
me and its time to unwind a bit.




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