Baby Doll

'Tha Blonde Goddess'
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2004-01-06 04:36:47 (UTC)

uggg

hey....to anyone who reads this pathetic diary...well in my
last entry i said that i didnt kno what is wrong with
me....well i still dont....but i have a theory about it. i
think that im not being myself b/c i havent been around
ppl...other then my family and the ceramics ladies....and
my family could drive anyone up a wall...lol. im a very
social person...yea i can talk to my friends online and on
the phone...but its not the same as being able to be around
them...in person. plus i think that the reason that i was
crying the other night.....is that i got my "little friend"
on new years eve.....and i guess ive just been
emotional....and i still am although its almost gone. and i
think that the reason y im not sleeping and eating right is
either to the same reason y im so emotional or that im
worried about a lot of ppl....and about a lot of
things....some things i cant even talk to anyone about....i
cant even talk to cody about it.....and i kno what his
responce to the last sentance will be...."you can tell me
anything" but the truth is that i cant. there are some
things that i need to deal with on my own. like the fact
that i cant trust anyone b.c of something someone said to
someone else about me.....(no its not cody....so dunt have
a heart attack). i actually thought that person was my
friend. but i was wrong. b.c friends dont talk behind each
others backs...ive learned that. ive learned a lot l8ly. i
dont even talk behind my enimies backs anymore. b/c thats
not right...and i kno that better then ever now...i need to
think about a lot of things right now....and i need to deal
with some stuff....on my own. im just lettin whoever reads
this kno that b.c i might become distant from ppl. dont
worry i wont go into depression again....things arent that
bad and if they start to be then i'll talk to
someone....b.c i refuse to go back to that dark lonely
place in my mind....i refuse to go back there. but i do
need some time to sort a few feelings and stuff out....so
ppl dun get worried....i love ya'll.

~*Nikkie*~


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