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2004-01-04 08:30:54 (UTC)

Taking time for me

Time for me. I don't make it much lately, but I think
that's the biggest difference between me now and when I
was younger. I get so used to living for other people,
like always being mindful of how they feel, and thinking
of what I can do for them, or trying to best deal with
myself so to least affect them if they are really
bothering me, and never feeling good about myself unless
they show some kind of appreciation or try to do stuff for
me - that last one is really rare compared to high school,
I must say. Maybe I don't appreciate things as much
because I don't feel appreciated as much?

I dunno, but this transformation from a big heart to a
cold heart is going to be graceful nonetheless. So, I'm
going to take inspiration from Edie Brickel here in a
twisted kind of way that is probably only understandable
by me or that odd nut that understands me - but I think
that two in a life time to achieve that is to much to
expect in life, so, ya, no explanntion here for the Edie
Brickel comment 'cause no one would get it anyway. Trust
me, I have a lot of experience trying to be understood -
it rarely goes well on levels like this, hell, I have a
hard enough time with general chit-chat without coming
under fire sometimes.

Anyway, so what does this entail, what are my new goals?
I don't know yet, but let's try these:

Get a better job
Get back in shape again(jogging, weights)
Get my music project done
Fix all my equipment
Start singing again
Get my art in shape
Learn Japanese
Finish a few good games
Start a new business in the next three years
Get back to school
Play guitar for at least three hours a day again
Play piano for at least an hour a day, too
Find and re-master all my old recordings of my bands
Catch up to old friends
Re-scan all my photos on a better scanner
Get a van, dj'ing equipment, and a new computer
Get comfortable financially enough to get out more
Host or be involved in hosting concerts again within two

That's about it.