PINKBABYPHAT

soul survivor
2004-01-04 04:25:16 (UTC)

new year 2004

Dear Journal.
well this year i can feel its gonna be great for me. cause
i'm actually looking forward to doing things that i want to
do now. these past 2 weeks since i've been away from home
and kale i got a whole new prospective now.
i realized what in life i want, who my true friends are and
my passion in life. i also realized its not the end of the
world if kale and i are not together. i also realized the
most important thing Me, Myself, and I. that all i have is
myself. i'm number one i have to start acting like it. no
more bullshit. i know i can live w/o kale in my life cause
i have my own life to deal with @ 19 years old i have alot
of growing up to do and i realize that. If it's not meant
to be with him then its not i can deal with it, cuz i've
prepared myself. i'm stronger than what i think i am. i'm
also a good person who has worked hard in life to get where
i am. i know that i'm notperfect i'm only human whose
learning from my mistakes and mistake of others. i'm about
to throw my life and everything else over a heartbreak.Yes
its gonna hurt cause i love kale with all of my heart and
soul. he has opened my eyes to things that i didn't want to
cause i was scared. i didn't want to grow up, cause things
were done for me. no one is not gonna be around when i fuck
up, my parents no one. just me. and i have to start taking
care of myself. thats what kale made me see. he made me see
that i was spoiled. its not entirelymy fault. i just went
to school, studied to have a better future. but things were
paid for me. when other ppl out had to pay their way
through school when mine is paid for. also kale had to grow
up alot quicker than i did when he was younger.
i'm gonna do things w/ or w/o kale by my side.
from now till april or june will see how things will go
from there. i know he wantsto move to calgary. lets see if
we can get through this and me trying to earn my trust back
w/ him.




Ad: