poeticgem

My sometimes coherent thoughts
2004-01-04 01:58:26 (UTC)

Tomorrow she goes ...

tomorrow she goes back ... and oh, how I wish things could
be different ... I wish all the problems that led up to me
having to make the decision to send her to live away from
me never happened ... but they did and I can't take any of
it back and she has to see her consequence through, though
I seriously believe I'm suffering the consequence just as
much if not more than her ...

it's her last night here and I'm letting her spend it with
friends because she spent the week with me ... it seemed
only fair, but I so wanted to be selfish and keep her here
with me ... however, it's the same old, same old as far as
money is concerned and we wouldn't have been able to go out
and do something special for her last night home, so that's
why I figured it was more fair to let her have her fun with
her friends ... regardless of how sad it makes me.

the worst part is ... I don't know when I'll be seeing her
again ... there are no big breaks for either one of us for
a while ... and though my dad will be coming out on the
weekends more often because of tax season, Chantelle said
she wasn't going to come with him every time, which would
be silly to expect anyway.

I just hope I have made the most of this time we were given
together ... we didn't do anything special, but I do feel
that the quality far outweighed everything else ... and I
hope she goes back to Arizona with special memories and
reasons to work hard towards graduating Middle School so
she can come back to California where she belongs ...

well ... I will try and write more later ...

God please keep Your watchful eye on her while she's with
her friends ... and thank You again for the time I've
been given with her this week ...




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