A Day in the Life of Me
2004-01-04 00:19:18 (UTC)

why me.

today is my frist day writting in an online diary. i have
decided i should write in more places becasuse i want to
become a writter when i get older. im not going to use
anybodys name becsaue thats just to personal. alright i
will start all i need to say...

Latley, i have gotten 2 or three emails form two of
my "friends" that are pointing out all of the tings that
are bad about me. i hate it, i feel like they are trying to
make me feel bad so they can feel better about themselves.
One of them has apoligized and told me he was just having a
bad day and that i was just the one that came to mind to
yell at, which is horrible. The other person is my best
friends boyfriend, he seems to think i put on a facade
around people and that i should never be trusted. I don't
know why he thinks this or why he decided i was the person
to yell at but he is making me think twice about everything
i do. I'm starting to get afraid of talkign to new people
and i don't ever want to go out anymore. i feel like i
don't really have any true friends and that i might have a
problem and people might not want to talk to me or be
around me. i don't know what to think anymore.
Today when i got the second email from my best friends
boyfrined, i just sat down and cryed and wondered why i was
the person people thought they could make fun of and scream
at when they had a problem or when they felt bad about
themselves. i don't want to tell anyone about these people
making me feel bad, becaue i personal dont want anybody to
feel bad for me.
Alright, My sister and her boyfriend of two years
broke up not to long ago. i got into teh middle of it
because me and my sister are best friends and her boyfriend
and i are extremely close. On New Years i was at a party
and My sisters Ex was there and of coarse i talked to him
because i love him, nad its been hard to talk to him since
he went to college this past summer(by the way they went to
college in the same city so theya re only like 10mins
aparts,so thats not the reason tehy broke.). He talked to
me about he felt bad about the breakup becaseu it did not
go over well at all and he still loved my sister(i
seriously thought they were gogin to get married)and that
he wanted to talk to her and let her know all of this. I
told him that my sister would probably never talk to him
again because he broke her heart in a bad way. i told my
sister about all of this and she told me that he should
grow some balls and just talk to her, which we all no is
not that easy.alright i need some time to think now. byebye

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