Baby Doll

'Tha Blonde Goddess'
Ad 2:
2004-01-03 17:52:17 (UTC)

i dont know whats wrong

i dont know whats wrong with me. i cant sleep. i have no
appetite. im getting on my parents nerves. i find myself
up at 3 am crying over the stupidest little things. i dont
know whats wrong with me. i havent been wanting to do
anything. i dont even want to talk to people lately...ive
kinda been just shutting down. i cant handle things like i
used to. yesterday my dad told Jason (bro) that he was the
best out of us 3. Jason doesnt do anything but play comp,
play ps2 and watch tv and on sundays he rides his bike
into town to go to the yu gi oh tournament at the
colloseum of comics. without the thing on sunday and the
ps2, thats basically the same thing i do. but hes
the 'good' kid. hes the best out of us. Gary screwed up
his life. i kno thats what my dad thinks...Gary was signed
out of school at 16 b/c he was having some trouble with
the kids at school...getting into a lot of fights and
stuff....he was signed out with the promise that he would
get his GED. well its 5 years later and he still dont have
his high school diploma. im going to graduate before my
stepbrother that is 4-5 years (depending on the month)
older then me. and my dad says that me and Gary are the
same. yea me and him have similarities....but i am a
totally different person then him. im going to finnish
school...and get a collage degree and im not going to just
be with someone to be with someone like Gary is. Him and
Kelly have been together for about 4 or 5 years. shes
cheated on him countless number of times. yet hes still
with her. the whole family dont like her. yet hes still
with her. and its not love. believe me its not love. and
then also yesterday...my mum came home and asked me if i
was hungry...i told her no...that i had ate 3 hrs ago..and
that was the first time that i had eaten. well...my dad
being who he is...made a wise crack at me....'well you
dont need to eat...you dont do anything' i rilly felt like
saying...'what do u want me to do? im too young to do
anything' but i didnt....because im a good girl....well
then about 10 minutes later...i ask for some food....my
mum is just like 'how are you not hungry 10 minutes ago n
hungry now?' i was just 'idk' well i did kno. i knew that
if cody knew that all i had eaten all day was a bowl of
soup...that he would be kinda...eh...so i asked for
food...well that got comments out of my parents...i almost
cryed from hearing them....but i didnt. so...idk...im just
getting to a breaking point. idk.....

~*Nikkie*~


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