Self harming dyke
2004-01-03 00:29:47 (UTC)

new year

not really feeling up to writing but i ended up on my own
in flat with slit wrist and od on sleeping pills and anti-
d's on NY's eve. a girl from my internet group called
police and they took me to hosp. I walked out without being
seen. I got back to flat and apparently (fugue state - I
dissociated so badly cannot remember) I texted the girl to
say was ok but had refused treatment. The police ended up
back in flat...

Then i woke up in morning and dad was there. Group had
found dad's number and called him.

Went to A&E. Had bloods done, they eventually came back
clear, but my pulse and blood pressure were sky-high so
they kept me in for a bit.

Had lots more stitches to wrist and other ones out of
infected arm.


I hate me.

I am so bloody crap and sad and pathetic.

Oh and schizo on group has gone apeshit and is really
causing problems, I think she was jealous that people cared
about me on NY's eve and so needed some attention for

I am a nasty person.

I am definitely going to the therapeutic community after
(or maybe before) my course ends...

Hapyy New Year.

Cat x

"maybe that's what it takes for me to be with you"

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