On The Outside Looking In
2004-01-02 02:04:08 (UTC)


So it's 2004. I have exactly one semester of high school
left, which is absolutely mind-boggling. I'm so afraid to
leave high school, because there's so many people I will
miss so much.
I feel really depressed. I don't know...just lately I've
felt really down, and like nobody really gives a damn about
me. I wish I had somebody who I could talk to, who would
just listen to me and not always try to just give advice.
People don't realize that sometimes - people don't always
want advice, sometimes they just want a person who will
So the guy I like, haven't seen him in a while since we are
on our semester break. I miss him, his jokes, his smile,
just having conversations with him...I wish he would like
me back. Sometimes I wonder if any guy has ever liked
me...or more like, if any guy that I liked has ever liked
me...but I don't just "like" this guy, it's not a little
crush like before...he's just different, that's all I need
to say. It just feels so much deeper than that. Sometimes,
and maybe this is my wishful thinking, but sometimes I
swear I'll look up and catch him looking at me in French
class, like when I look at him and he quickly looks away. I
don't know...maybe my New Year's Resolution should be to
tell him how I feel. But as much as I say I could, I know
myself too well...I never could tell him.
Oy, I'm so depressed.