claire

all i have to say to you is........
2004-01-01 12:58:37 (UTC)

katie (and looking back over the year) (and looking forward to 2004)

reading back through what ive written so far (not much i guess but
hey), the main thing i feel is guilt and shock at myself. i didnt know
i could be so uncaring. im tempted to go back and change it, but
then again thats what i felt like saying at the time. anyway, katie, if
you read this, i am so so so sorry. i dont mean to feel that way, or
make you feel bad.

anyways she (katie)'s comin over soon, my whole families gone
out, n i live in the middle of nowhere, so i foned her up n shes
comin round. yay :D

so.....it's 2004. well wonder what this year will bring. bit scary
really, i might not be alive this time next year. meh, shouldnt be so
depressing. might have fallen in love (properly, and actually GOT
the guy this time!). i hope i will have grown up a lot, and become a
better person. i hope i will have learnt to appreciate the smaller
things in life more (think that ones achievable)


(this song just came on....its by katie melua....tis v gd.....so just
thought id write the lyrics as they come on....wow fast typing...)

this is the nearest thing to crazy i have ever known
i wasnt ever crazy on my own
and now i know
that theres a link between the two
being close to crazyness
and being close to you

how can you make me fall apart?
then break my fall with loving lies
its so easy to break a heart
its so easy to close your eyes

how can you treat me like a child?
yet like a child i yearn for you
how can anyone feel so white
how can anyone feel so blue

this is the closest thing to crazy i have ever been
feeling twenty-two
acting seventeen
this is the nearest thing to crazy i have ever known
i wasnt ever crazy on my own
and now i know
that theres a link between the two
being close to crazyness
and being close to you

and being close to you


yes anyway, what was i saying. what have i achieved this year?

well i got my science GCSE (although i only scraped (literally
scraped....by like 2 marks) a B). but still, thats two GCSE grades i
already have, two Bs. not bad.

i think next (this) year i need to work harder on my studies, but i
dont see how thats going to happen, i mean im growing up, ill be
turning 16, ill be facing major surgery, recovering etc. actually this
year will be mostly wasted. but ah well. i guess its better i waste it
on studies and operations than on love. hope i do fall in love
though.

ive spent a lot of 2003 mooning (lol) over guys. most recently tom
bristow. grrr. why arent boys simple? but then again i guess boys
think us girls are confusing. hmmmm.....

well as 2004 enters i still really really really like (love????????)
tom. i dont really remember when i started liking him.....but i
remember it was before the summer holidays. actually just
remembered, i fancied him while we were on work experience, so
thats........ 7 or 8 months. wow. long time.

long time to waste, that is. i mean if it had been 7 or 8 months of
happiness WITH him, that wouldnt be so bad. but hmmmm.

guess id better go, need to go have some lunch (just ate a ton of
marzipan.....feel a bit ill actually), then katies comin round. love
that girl.

bring on 2004, im waiting for you.




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