Darkeyes

How Terribly Average
2003-12-30 02:54:35 (UTC)

Monday...

Well last night I stayed up until about three talking to
Aaron. He's so sweet! I saw Justin On Sunday...we didnt
talk too much, I gave him a big hug and walked with him
for a little while, but thats about it. Today Cory calls
me and asked me If I kissed him and I was so shocked! But
I told him the truth and I felt really ashamed. But Cory
wont tell me who told him....all He will tell me is that J
didnt tell him and that Aaron does know and he was really
mad at Justin over it for a little while....I dont get why
Aaron would care that much except that He just doesnt want
me around Justin. Cory told me later that Aaron didnt like
that I was sitting on Justins lap at jessies. Im really
confused. I dont know how Aaron feels, but Im about 99%
sure that he thinks of me like a little sister. I hope
becasue as much as Im attracted to him, I LOVE having him
for a freind and I think that us being more might be
weird.
Last night we were talking about the time me and him and
Jackie all went out. We were supposed to go to the movies
but instead Aaroun drove us all over creation and me and
Jackie got so high we didnt know what we were doing. Aaron
didnt smoke that night, So he remembers alot more than I
do. Me and Jaackie kissed while we were at Tonys house (we
were doing a shot gun...but we didnt have a blunt between
us lol it was just lip to lip) That was an awesome night,
I had so much fun.
I called Jackie today to find out what was going on New
Years eve. Shes having a big party, but I dont plan on
attending, Kaylas coming to my house after we chill in
Lake Helen. Were both dying our hair pink. It should be
fun. I dont know what were going to do that night, but I
guess we can just prowl the streets and reke (I know I
spelled it wrong) havoc on small childern. Hehe (My
favorite past time)
I feel really uncomfortable around Aaron know that I know
that he knows that I kissed Justin...He must think Im
terrible...But according to Cory He's known ever since it
happened...He never said anything to me about it, So im
still a bit skeptical about wheter or not he does really
know.
I was babysitting in Lake Helen for the Wright family
today and I took the two girls down to the park and Cory
came over to hang out for a little while. He saw my wrist
and freaked out on me. I told him a cat did it, but He
knew it wasnt true and He was liek Im really worried about
you Sara and Im told him not to. He said that was an
impossible request under the circumstances. I dont know
what todo with myself anymore...Far too much drama for one
small girl to handle herself.
I fell asleep for about an hour today. I love my bed.
well Its not really a bed...I just took out my old bed and
now I sleep on this SUPER comfy futon. I love it. Im about
to paint my room pink. Im gonna have a Black and Pink
theme. I cant wait. Anyways, I fell asleep so now Im wide
awake and its ten-o-clock and I doubt Ill sleep tonight.
I found an old picture of Cody today. It made me cry. I
miss him so much, more than anything in the world. If I
could take back anything Id take back the decision I made
that day. That was by far the worst decision of my life. I
just want him to hold me again more than anything in the
world, I still love him. I always will.




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