AngelicHeart

Time Trots Along
2003-12-27 08:03:30 (UTC)

Breaking Point

Okay for you that do know me, you know that I'm a
pretty rounded, go getter, friendly person and for the most
part things don't get me down. Now this is the supposed to
be the most happiest season of all. Well there must be
something wrong me. Here are a a couple of reasons: 1.
Everyone is with there families off somewhere and doing a
ton of traveling in my situation I don't can't and none of
my family seems to get along. 2. I was betrayed right after
the day of Christmas, now how shitty is that you have got
to be kidding me!!! 3. I have no job now it seems, I am on
call almost everyday, but I work tomorrow Thank God for the
small things. 4. I'm starting to really question why the
heck I am living and what I have to live for......know
let's see...... there are some exceptions....friends I mean
colleagues it's not like they really give a shit enough to
call write or see how I'm doing, NOOOO that's up to me and
if I don't do it then either one of four things will happen:
One: They will bitch and moan that I didn't contact
them leading up to other events that I... rather.. not go
there
Two: They don't care which is the case most of the
time.
Three: Use and get rid of (enough said there)
(I'm a stupid fuck )
Four: Here's is my favorite they are happy that I
said Hi of talk to them.
I really don't know how I can be so nieve about
things some time, I mean really. How stupid am I? Don't get
me wrong I am a Christian and I have faith but I start to
lose hope in this world, in me and other things as well.
For I fail to realize that there are not enough decent
people that you can trust these days. I mean lets face it
with all of the media and things that you see on TV
dictating what's to happen with increasing violence,sex and
vulgarity with every program effecting many of the minds of
today who is to say what is to happen; how bad things are
going to get.
Also, let me tell you about Love I believe it exist
from to places, GOD and my parents. As far as anything else
goes I don't believe that it exists at all. Maybe this is
because of loss, abuse, taken advantage of and heart
stomped on by pretty much everyone I have gave my trust to.
Now most of you don't read this anyway, but if you think
love exsist other than these 2 things then tell me I would
like to hear them. But I would not like to hear those lovey
dovey sob stories of how you think your in love but now
sure I get enough of that from my supposedly friends. Okay
well that about wraps up my venting because I am tired and
life sucks....yep that about sums it up I am going to try
to get some sleep now for I have to work tommorrow, YEAH!!
That's about the only thing I find pleasure in doing now.




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