Thomash04

My Diary
2003-12-25 05:39:37 (UTC)

My Love Harmony

I think it was October 2001 I was introduced to a girl I
had a crush on in middle school, Harmony. We talked for a
while. I would visit her at work and stuff. I was falling
in love with her. We started dating I never asked her out
or anything but we ended up being a couple. It was great
being loved by her gave me a high I never experience
before. We loved to be around each other and we were
inseparable. I ended up not ever hanging out with Danny
though. It was time to go to college I thought. I hadn't
looked for scholarship so I figured I'd pay for it myself.
I ended up not having enough money so I needed money for
college and I saw an Air Force commercial. I talked to the
recruiter and he told me what I wanted to hear. I signed
my life away for 4 years and I'd be getting college money
in return. Sounded like a good idea at the time. Harmony
was in love with me and she thought it was a good idea for
me. Well things started changing Harmony wanted to go out
and party and live life like that. I was no partier so I
couldn't really understand what she was doing. I was
unable to express my feeling and would just walk the
neighborhood when I was pissed off. Not the brightest idea
but it calmed me down. We had problems and we would break
up a couple days and be back together. Then we finally
broke up for real. I just now remember why I was smoking
weed again and I would usually go up to her work and visit
her or at least call but I hadn't done that in the past
couple days. We were supposed to go to the Incubus concert
together the day we broke up. She sensed something was
wrong with me and I couldn't tell her the truth. I fucked
up and I made it worse by not telling her. Well we broke
up and she went to the concert that hurt. I would still go
to her house and talk with her sister Joely. I would ask
her if she talked about me or wanted to get back with me.
I hated being without her. I ended up going to Christmas
at Harmony's Aunt's house and that was uncomfortable for
me cuz me and her weren't together. She called me on New
Year's Eve but I had already made plans with Danny to go
to a party. I had a choice to make and I chose to go with
Danny. Well it was like God showed me I made the wrong
decision. Danny's car got a flat on the way to the party.
We ended up not going. I'm so fuckin stupid. Well got
kicked out of my house I don't know why I didn't do
anything to get kicked out. Harmony was there for me and
offered her house. I accepted cuz I thought we'd be
together again but that wasn't how it worked. I just made
me more upset cuz she'd be going out at night and I
wouldn't know if she was going to meet guys and anyways I
wasn't happy. But I only had 3 more months until I left
for the Air Force. Time flew by. I barely remember staying
there. Well we got kind of close but not like we were at
first. Well the time came for me to leave for the Air
Force Monday March 3, 2003. She drove me to the recruiter
and we hugged and I gave her a kiss and I left her my
truck. I wouldn't see her again for 1 month and a half.
(Basic Training) I got a few letters from her she said she
missed me and was sorry for everything she did to me. She
wanted to get married to me. That was exactly what I
wanted. Well I graduated basic training and we were
together. We were all lovey dovey and stuff like that.
Well Sunday night came and I was leaving the next day. We
said bye and kissed. It was like a tease to me. Oh yeah
and my truck broke down while I was gone and it was 1300
dollars to fix it. I didn't have that kind of money so I
gave her $750. Well I left for Biloxi, MS tech school.
(Learning my Job) I got a cell phone and I would talk to
her on the phone forever. About a month went buy and she
wanted to see me again so I was like ok. But my truck was
still in the shop and she lost her job and she was broke.
She had spent all the money. Well I got a loan from her
Aunt in Florida and I'd pay her back 400 dollars a month
and I had to get Insurance on my truck to 250 a month. On
a military check I was broke until I paid her Aunt back.
Well she came down and we stayed in Mobile, AL. We went to
Pensacola, FL and walked on the beach. We went to Dauphin
Island in Alabama and swam for a bit. We had a great time
together. Went it came time to leave my alternator in my
truck went out so she had to say a few more days. She'd
come pick me up after school. It was fun. She didn't want
to leave and I didn't want her to leave. I wish she would
have stayed. Well I left Biloxi to go to Fort Gordon, GA
to finish my school. I ended up getting charged roaming
charges and I had to disconnect my phone. She would call
me on a pay phone. She got a new job and she got new
friends and we were growing apart. I had brought her an
engagement ring and a few days later she said she didn't
want to get married anymore. Well I was glad I haven't
given her the ring yet. In October I had some money saved
up and I few Houston. And she was in love with me again. I
asked her to marry me at the first play we had really got
to know each other and where I fell in love with her. We
had a great time. I flew back to Georgia and a few days
later I called her and she said she couldn't marry me she
said in her mind she wanted to but in her heart she didn't
want to. I couldn't believe it but I was still supportive
I want her to be happy. Well I graduated tech school and
went back home I had a few weeks off and I figured if I
stayed with Harmony again she would fall in love with me
again but it didn't happen. She stuck to not wanting to be
with me this time and it sucked. Well the day I left she
took me out to eat and I had a nice time. Then I dropped
her off at work and she gave me a hug goodbye no kiss.
Well now I'm here in North Dakota and I haven't talk to
her in about 3 weeks. It's almost Christmas and I'm hoping
she'll call me but I'll call her anyway. I really hope to
get back together one day but until then I still love her.
I love you Harmony.




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