Remember to Breathe
2003-12-23 22:55:13 (UTC)

33 unopened presents

My life as of late has been filled with the questioning of
my friends. I am starting to believe that I have been
delusionary in thinking I have many close friends. In
truth, there are few people i still talk to that i have
known more than a year or so. I have many temporary
relationships and I am getting too old for all these
switchups. I have no bond with the people i see everyday
and it is leaving me feeling so empty. It feels exactly
like high school again and I hate it.
As far as men go, I still cannot find someone that I want
to commit my time and efforts towards. I want to feel
infatution, and I want that person to return those
feelings. I just can't find someone to put action to my
plans that have swirled through my head since puberty.
January first is a new beginning for me. I will be living
in a new place, but as far as every other change, well
those are up to me. I need to find out who my real
friends are and open myself up to them and embrace the
friendship. I need to find the patience to wait open
armed for that perfect someone to fall and let me catch
them surprised and aware of their brilliance at the same
time. All of this takes time, and it is time that I fear
the most.

"I could be your dream and you could have me every night.
And if in the morning I am not there, well no big deal,
you'll be alright."
"You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will"
-Bright Eyes-