my diary that i write in when im bored,
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2003-12-22 03:43:35 (UTC)

sunday b4 Christmas.

Hey so its been a lil while. but it dont matter. ok get
this. ive got a lot to get off my chest. i like joey. i
haven't admitted it but to two people. amy and becca.
*sigh* its not agood thing. i told amy if it ever came to
it and he asked me out(which i don't think would happen i
think he just likes to flirt with me.) i would say no bcuz
im afraid of what would happen. see before the guys ive
out with well i love them and they are great but none of
them were as psychially attractive as joey. so i've never
been under that emotional pressure before. yea. but its
disturbin bcuz i don't like liking him. arg. to make it
worse my mind keeps wandering about possibilities. i dont
want to get "involved" with any of the guys at our church.
amy and i talked about this at the mall saturday lol. Joey
well he's her cuz, and he can be a jerk to girls(not in a
abusive way just sometimes he's too girl crazy, or horney.)
I've been out with Ryan and i love him as a friend but it
took a long time to get back to this stage of friendship
after goin out, i don't want to jepordize it again, and
chris, i've been out with him and it was alright but i
dunno. and then theres johnathan but he's like 16 and a
playa and soooo not my type. in ANY WAY. and those are the
guys at our church. so pretty much i stay single. but
ok bcuz i don't want to get engaged before im 18 UNLIKE MY
SISTERS. although i have such a screwey education not
like it matters to get "college" done with. any way.. i
think im gonna jet.
p.s. i think 2night chris hit on me. ODD bcuz either he's
still going out with rachel, or they broke up recently and
why is he hitting on me. ill have to write about that
whole ordeal soon. or now its short. we went out for 5 days
(shortest relationship EVER) and he said "we should just
be friends" ok with me i wasn't head over heels it was a
crush, and within 2 weeks, he's going out with her. and
now he's callin me beautiful. make up ur freakin mind bub,
i ain't no left overs.

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